Misinformation

Where I've been working recently (which, for the sake of its good honor and reputation as an academic institution, will remain nameless), I sit at the front desk, and have access to a nifty "Network Viewer" which allows me, at any given time, access to the security cameras in front and back of the building. Since I also control the door opener, when someone knocks I can view who it is and open the door, or not, depending on the looks of 'em.
Today some men were painting the front of the building, and I couldn't help but hear some of their conversation from where I sit. Because it was such good stuff, which I will share in a moment, I also turned on the camera. It was like a regular tv show, as much for its inaccurate propaganda as for the fact that I was watching it on a screen. Here's what I heard from the painters . . .

For some reason, the conversation was about May Day, the first of May, which the communists* brought to this country** at first disguised as "Earth Day."*** You know, Earth Day. It was supposed to be this day when you do not like really radical stuff like worshipping the earth,**** but like, you know, you're supposed to take care of the earth or something. So they brought May Day over here first as Earth Day, but that didn't go over very well,***** so they had to think of another way of doing it. So then in the 70's****** they tried to bring it back again, but this time, they decided to disguise it as this thing called Cinqo de Mayo,******* so that, oo, it's like this Latin holiday, you know? So Cinqo de Mayo is really May Day, a holiday of evil communist propaganda.
After hearing this, I wanted to justify the righteous, know-it-all emotions I was feeling, so I paid a visit to my trusty friend Wikipedia. Among the other things that I learned about May Day, which you will find enumerated in the copious endnotes to this entry, I discovered that although May 1 is generally dubbed Loyalty Day or Law Day by our country's leadership (names which I think display a shocking lack of originality, beauty, or imagination), one of the initial purposes for the holiday--to honor workers and their rights--is observed by us on Labor Day. I bet that's a holiday these guys don't mind celebrating.

*May Day was originally a pagan holiday celebrated in pre-Christian Europe, to herald the start of summer. This incarnation of the holiday is still celebrated to a certain extent, especially in Europe. Later it was given an additional meaning, and associated with socialist and labor movement celebrations as International Worker's Day/Labour Day.
**May Day--in its socialist, labor-oriented form--originated in the United States to commemorate Chicago's Haymarket Riot of 1886, the movement behind which started on May 1 of that year.
***Earth Day, which has two dates officially (neither of which is May 1 or even in May) was first observed between the years of 1969 and 1971, when John McConnell and Wisconsin Senator Gaylord Nelson both introduced the idea of a global day to practice environmental stewardship on March 21 and April 22, respectively.
****The irony of this statement, as noted under * above, is that May Day actually did originate as a form of earth-worship. Huh.
*****Actually, Earth Day still exists. The U.S. generally celebrates it on April 22, and in DC there's a whole Green DC week leading up to that date.
******Which is when Earth Day was invented . . .
*******A holiday (not even celebrated federally in Mexico, but only by region) to commemorate the initial victory of Mexican forces over French forces on May 5, 1862. In the U.S. it is commonly seen as a day to celebrate Mexican traditions and the heritage of Mexican-American citizens.

But, then again, those guys could probably teach me a lot about painting a building.